No question about it, dude. Games rock. If it weren't for games and partying, I'd be one bored dude.

Ted Reviews

Hey bros. This time I am reviewing Blades of Stenchtar II: Escape From Stenchtar Mountain.

Warning: this is all one long spoiler.

So, I'm sure you all remember where we were at the end of Blades of Stenchtar the first, right? Yeah, so BoS II picks up where BoS leaves off, pretty much. Our dude Oinktoast is chillin and basking in his glory. Instead of headin to some killer beach to catch some waves, though, he's hanging out in Stenchtar making clothes for all the famous dudes and royal dudes and stuff. The trouble begins when Oinktoast gets like this MAJOR stomach-ache. And I guess they didn't have any pepto-bismal or something, cuz he has to go figure out what is going on with this bodacious seer and Wizard dude. So he finds out that the bad guy, Gloatherd, survived being eaten by Oinktoast when he was in artichoke form and now he's waging like total war on the Oinker's stomach. (Man, I know that feeling, dude... last time I ate a large "Dudebrough Deluxe" pizza and topped it off with a six pack of grape soda.) So anyway, our man Oinktoast has the wizard give him a potion that will help him fight Gloatherd. So he takes a bath in it and finds himself in his own stomach!! Gnarly!! The cutscene finally ends and then so does the whole game. I feel waayy confused.

This was definitely not the kind of game I was expecting as a sequel to the way radical Blades of Stenchtar. In that game, you did stuff, you know? Like, you killed lots of rats and collected this junk and had a final major face off with the bad-dude. It was an awesome example of a perfect RPG. In BoS II, you kinda just watched it all happen. I mean, it was totally like one big long cutscene or something.I mean, it was still completely awesome. I love the part where Gloatherd is like, summoning creatures of doom made from Oinktoast's baloney sandwhich. That totally rocked. And the graphics were great, and the dialog was cool. But I sorta missed, I dunno, DOING stuff.

I DID find a secret unlockable mini-game you can play if you watch the main game through six times on the "hard" difficulty setting. It's pretty cool. You control a little Oinktoast moving through this maze trying to beat up pieces of stuff he ate for breakfast. And rats, too. There are rats in the dude's stomach? Guess he must've ate them whole like a big snake. Awesome! It's mega-fun. Bummer its in 2-D. And only takes a fifteen minutes to finish. But its little secrets like this that totally make the BoS franchise utterly rule.

Anyway, if you are a fan of the first BoS you should totally play BoS II. I mean, there's got to be a sequel right? Can't just leave the Oink-dude hanging in his own stomach. And probably you need to know what happens in this game so you are all on-top of things for the next one.

Rating: Sicker than most.